Captain's Log: Day 3 without Liner

At work today, my coworker kept asking if I was okay repeatedly. First she asked if I was exhausted and I really wasn't...

Then later on before we went to a meeting she asked if I had been crying...

Crying inside because I look AWFUL without my wings!!!!

winged creatures

My composition includes tanned skin, brown hair, a strong nose, and winged eyeliner. I am nothing, without my eyeliner - winged.

My eyelids have been lined with L'Oreal's Lineur Intense (specifically in Carbon Black) since 2008. If you do not see it on me, it means I did not intend to be seen.

My winged technique has been perfected through years of trial-and-error, black stained finger tips, and over-time...hours of being late.

Both women and men, have expressed admiration for how my eyeliner is painted on to contour my unique eye shape.

I've taken pride of my craft, creating this illusion to enlarge my otherwise tiny eyes.

I also found it mysterious how I cannot recreate this winged look on any other eyes but mine, no matter how much I'd like to.

Wishing the wings would fly me away

As a make-up enthusiast, it's surprising that I rarely experiment with new looks. I loved watching Youtube make-up gurus look fresh-faced, natural, and stunning with their eyeliner-less eyes. There eyes were bright and open, and were not lines of harsh black lines masking them. I tried, a couple times, by putting heavy WINTER coats of mascara hoping it would replace my top liner. Unfortunately, it was shortly followed by me attempting to do my signature liner with mascara'd lashes getting in the way.

Without my wings, I look exhausted, drained, and ill. I've been told that once too. My eyes barely look open, and emphasizes my hereditary dark circles.

These past few months, whenever I look at the clock, day or night, it is always 11:11. Lucky or not, I was curious why I was seeing this exact time almost twice a day, everyday. Thank God for Google, what a time to be alive. Theories say that when you're seeing 1's four in a row, it's a symbol for a necessary change. Change that needs to be deliberated by my own initiative. It is apparently symbolic for "girl you need to change your life." I first thought I should be more consistent with eating healthy or working out... or be more focused on finding a new job, or self-improving myself or nourishing relationships with my family and friends.  But I have a hunch it's about how I do my daily make-up.

These past few days, I've dared the impossible. I've gone to work 2 days this week with simply coats of mascara that eventually blinds me every once in a while throughout the day. No one has noticed! And I don't completely look like I'm suffering from a terminal disease.

Will winged eyeliner always be my signature, always. But I am leaning towards of embracing spring and the natural face. Aside from my blemished face, I want to give my wings a rest and be comfortable with less black ink skirting my windows to the world.

Let me know what you think.

Hyphen - a podcast by Parth Shah

My brother, Parth Shah, is one of the most creative, hard-working, and passionate being I am blessed to know.

He has been pouring his free time into this new podcast called Hyphen, that explores identity being an Indian-American. It is funny, eye-opening, and about interesting topics most of us typically overlook.

Please support by listening, rating it on iTunes, and sharing.

Listen here, for episode one, that discusses hard-to-pronounce names (cough, like mine.)

Knights Baseball

When you find yourself the face of "2016 Hospitality Guide" for the Charlotte Knights.

Fireworks may or may not have been photoshopped.

Oatmeal

I have this weird love for oatmeal, it is so warm and hearty and improves my mood instantly. I don't know why, it's just amazing! I used to be all about those Quaker Oat prepackaged oatmeal pouches, so much variety and tasty flavors! However over the past year and a half, I've been working towards avoiding the convenience because we all know it's full of preservatives, sodium, and it's just processed.

In my earlier confession, I mentioned that I'm a minimalist when it comes to cooking. Mainly because I'm lazy and want to just eat already! Also, it is actually one mention in Ayurveda teachings that we should always be simple in our meals, avoiding a complex combination of different ingredients. Which I also strongly believe! Our bodies shouldn't have to overwork when it comes to digestion...but i won't get into the science as I'm not at ALL an expert.

So my oatmeals in the past used to be water, oats, and brown sugar. Then I wanted to cut out sugar because that's my kryptonite. I started having oats with coconut milk / and or water depending if I'm at work or home...cooked with a LOT of cinnamon! It was definitely filling and without the brown sugar I wasn't craving more after!

But here's a new recipe that I've tried all this week that has given me energy, focus, and satisfaction first thing in the morning:

-1/2 cup Oats
-1 cup unsweetened Coconut Milk
-a lot of Cinnamon
-1 Banana, sliced
-A small handful of Craisins
-A sprinkle of Sliced Almonds

It's sweet without added sweeteners, has a little crunch and tartness! It incorporates a lot of different tastes and so filling, you won't think about 'what's next on my 'to-eat' list?'

It's a pretty chilly but sunny Saturday afternoon (I woke up late and I can enjoy breakfast whenever I want to). I wanted to disconnect from the internet because I had spent the entire morning coordinating a bachelorette party with my friends. I also wanted to get some more reading in my current read on Ayurveda for Modern Women. Another factor in balancing your life is to be in touch with nature, so I enjoyed my meal out on my patio reading. I know eating while watching TV / Texting/ being distracted is a HUGE factor to overeating. It was really nice :)

Before I made this meal today, I was reading a section of 'Meditation on Eating'. The author mentioned this strategy of relaxing, and visualizing your Inner Goddess in your belly. She could be as beautiful as you imagine. Next, imagine you are going to feed this beautiful Goddess within you. How would you prepare her meal? What would you give her? How would you plate it? Would she rush her meal? How would she eat it, how does she enjoy it? Once she's done, does she rushes off to do something next or is mindful of what she ate?

I want to feed my inner goddess in the most fanciest and meaningful way possible, with pretty plates and colorful foods. I want to make the food with love and take my time. I want to feed her with the ripest and most natural foods. That visualizing really helped me!

Enjoy!