I'm known to be ridiculously self conscious and rarely do I have high confidence but these past few months if not year, I now have an ego and I'd like to thank my lovely friends and my family and my boyfriend.
THANK YOU because I do walk around knowing I'm beautiful and unique and intelligent and lovely.
I don't think I'm conceited, I just know my worth.
Relationships come with a lot of tribulations. We fight, we yell, we get jealous, we cry, we feel pain, we hurt, we scream, we get frustrated, we get angry, we get upset, we break up and our emotions take us over. So why do we do it? Why would we want to feel not just sad, but truly hurt, sad to the point where your whole body hurts just because of one person, sad to the point where you feel empty when everything falls apart, sad to the point where your heart aches for the company of that being. I’ll tell you why I do it, its because besides all those moments when your stupidity gets in the way of what your truly feeling and you “fight”, the moments when you are truly loving someone are the most touching, astounding, magnificent moments you will ever experience. When two people are just loving each other its magical. And to those of you who are to scared of getting hurt and too scared of the baggage that comes with relationships, let me tell you this, having someone you love and having them love you back is a feeling that you can not substitute. Having someone look at you with such a deep emotion is remarkable. Having someone touch with so much care brings a feeling of weightlessness throughout your whole body. Having someone whisper they love you feels like they screamed it. Having someone to hold your hand at all times just feels special. Having someone to be your best friend and be loyal to you and never lie to you feels so safe. So yeah, relationships suck, breaking up hurts, but having that someone that you feel so comfortable with, someone that you let inside your soul, someone that lets you inside theirs, someone to talk to at all hours during the day, someone to laugh with, someone to fall asleep with, having someone that is your other half for whatever amount of time you are together, is true beauty and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I (co) hosted NC State's 1st Annual Diversity Week Talent and Fashion Show last night (last minute!)
"There never were in the world two opinions alike, no more than two hairs or two grains; the most universal quality is diversity." - Michel de Montaigne
Faiza and Alexis <3
Native American, Brittney
Carizma
Mango Smoothie, but I could only taste banana :(
Rehearsing
I did pretty well if you ask me, I felt bad because there was a lot of problems with the Mic and sound wires :( But I felt really comfortable and not really nervous! I hope I was okay! Especially for starting on a script that day at 4.30pm when the show starts at 7!!
I usually despise Katy Perry but E.T. is a new guilty obsession. I'm not your "Top 40" kind of person but lately that's what I'd rather listen to.
I have been the biggest slacker known to man kind, and this week I'm paying for my procrastination. Just bombed a quiz and test that I started studying the night before. When will I ever learn? Where is my inspiration? Where is my motivation? I've lost it all. Call me crazy but I'm not even excited for France anymore. Maybe because the financial burden is making me think I shouldn't go...$7,000 MINIMUM is the trip + air fare, and if you knew me, shopping IS a must. I don't know what to do.
unfortunately, his fraternity has convocation at UNC this weekend so he has to be busy over there. Yes, I'm a victim of "bros before..." you can finish the rest.
I have never been in a long term relationship, hell, IN A RELATIONSHIP. I'm very thankful that my fragile heart was part of a relationship that is still going, and hopefully will keep going.
Times have been hard for Milan and I, school has taken over our lives and we barely see each other. When we do, we fight for some reason. I think it's just the stress of NOT spending time with each other that makes us all annoyed and frustrated. I miss date nights, we haven't gone out in ages, no movies no dinner nothing special. We do hang out and talk but the idea of dressing up and going out as "an item" for a night excites me. I love this man and I know I complain about him, a lot, I never felt such happiness before him. He is a loving man with a heart of gold, and I, well I have found the treasure chest.
is an emotion that is misperceived too frequently.
No, no one is out there to make you angry. No one even has the power to do that. YOU allow someone to make you angry. You let their actions and words make your blood boil. They didn't do anything, you allowed it.
But if you love someone so much when they too have become a part of you, then?
On a college campus, I have seen everything from an Bagpipe band marching through the brickyard 9:30 a.m. and someone on a unicycle has cut in front of me while I'm trying to walk back to my dorm.
However what I saw today while going to class, had the most impact on me.
First you see a short girl in her North Face, probably 19 or 20, smoking a cigarette walking in one direction, and an elder man with gray hair and wrinkles and glasses in athletic clothing running in the other.
Juxtaposition, is that a word to describe it? She's killing years off her life while he's trying to add a few more.
Also, I've noticed conformity lately. Usually I don't, or maybe because I'm part of it. But today while sitting in my Child Psychology class (filled with 98% girls..mostly white), I take 5 seconds to look around me.
All you see is white girls, sitting with their Macs, with straightened hair, wearing tights and running shoes, with their Patagonia or North Face. Their shirts most likely brought to you by your sorority. Their back packs are all North Faces, maybe a cute ribbon on it. There's about 20 of these girls in this class and it's like wowww, whats so unique about them? Like cool, brand names can be great, I'm guilty too. The style is cute too, not hating but I know my man likes me in my running shoes (even though I never work out)
I guess to me it seems pretty lame that I wouldn't be able to differentiate these girls who sit next to me.
it was heartbreaking leaving my mom this evening. we were in the car crying good bye...after five minutes of hugging and wiping each others tears, i get enough courage to open the door and get out the car, and i try to say, "bye mom call me when you get home", all that really came out was "mom please don't leave me"
you must be thinking, dislikes? stop being a pessimistic pranjali! can't help it though :\
yuck
right now i despise the loud and annoying sound of that coin in the dryer that seems to be hidden within the full load of clothes when i try to take the damn thing out.
how all my friends were too busy this break
since our house has been getting fixed for the past two months, nothing is where it was and i need to find cotton balls to remove my chipped nail polish right now
the feeling where you want to eat something but you think and you know you're really full but you still want to eat something.
when you're writing a list of stuff you currently don't like when clearly you should be doing so many other important things before Monday morning.
For the first time ever, I believe this Spring Break was the first time I actually wanted to go home. Not only that, but I don't want to go back to school. Yeah, friends, boyfriend, my life is back at State but my life doing absolutely nothing and just hanging out with the family and my mother's cooking has made these past week the best week in a long time. I don't want to go back!
Finally I spent time with my love Laura last night! We spent hours catching up, laughing, and loving over anniversary cake ice cream. Those few hours we spent together reminded me how much I love this girl and how much I love our friendship. We had gone months without seeing each other, but that doesn't affect our friendship. We were just talking and talking until the cafe closed at 11pm. I hope to see her today!
In like two hours, I have a hair appointment. I love Sheetal, she cuts my hair amazingly! She's hard to get but its worth it in the end. Guys, confession time. I'm obsessed and am infatuated with my hair. No, I don't style it or even know how to braid it or do anything cute with it, but I LOVE IT. It never fails me (most of the time) and I feel like thats the best part of my entire body. Conceited? Yes I am.
I just want something different, but not too different. I just like my length and volume and I love not having side bangs anymore, they are SO annoying. But we'll see what we do today!
I need to start doing some homework and packing, I've never been so lazy in my life. But we all need a break right? Well I guess everything comes to an end. (My motivation for school has ages ago).
Farewell Spring Break 2011. You've been good to me.
Hearts and Prayers to the people of Japan<3 & All the islands and countries that were affected by the horrendous 8.9 earthquake. I remember 7:30 this morning my mom frantically trying to contact my cousin in Hawaii, the tsunami was supposedly going to hit there, luckily nothing happened and he is okay.
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On a lighter note, Totem was definitely the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!
I found a trailer of it, and it had everything I saw in it minus the scuba diving thing, idk why I didn't see that!
The acrobats were unbelievable. I think the most amazing part of the acts is when the audience members put themselves in the shoes ..or leotards in this case of the artist and realize they can't do 1/10th of what they're doing. These artists are so flexible with their body, going to all these limits I never knew existed! The whole 2 hours I was thinking, damn. I bet he's real good in bed.
The costumes were so beautiful and for the chimp costumes, super realistic. The effects like sound and visual, were dreamy and really made you feel involved with what was going on. Not once did I think, oh I'm in a tent outdoors. Simplement incroyable.
The music was really catchy, I want to buy the soundtrack for my dad. There was Indian influence on dance, costume, and music in Totem!
I don't know if this is a bad habit, but I was thinking about the lives of the performers. I bet you'd get endless number of dates (if you're single) doing something SO wondrous like this in front of hundreds of viewers every night! I bet these people have fabulous personalities, crazy wild stories, and a very cultured and open mind! But then I thought, oh wait these people travel the WORLD. You can't keep making relationships with people, a. where is the time? b. you are rarely home!
I'm such an over analyzer, but from what my imagination has told me, I don't blame anyone who wants to leave home and join the circus.
My family and I, we're going to see Cirque De Soleil's TOTEM show! I heard everyone of their shows is breath taking and the best show they've seen in their life! I cannot wait! Apparently, Totem is a performance about the Human Evolution! Tres Cool!
I've been trying to take each day one hour at a time, getting nothing done is what I'm best at ;)
Updates:
*I'm study abroad in Lille, France this summer [le 27 mai - le 3 juillet] It's a city in North France, known for great hospitality and daily rain! The group I'm going with has already started hanging out, merci to Madame Beckman! They all seem really interesting and fun and I know this will be another amazing summer to top off last years (j'espere!)
*I'm finally home! I know that's like an obvious statement but as I've complained before, I haven't been in my house since I left after Winter Break. Even though house is a mess from remodeling, it feels so good to "recharge" because to be honest, I was dying at State. I was drained out, no motivation and no desire to work hard, and I was hit with this homesickness since beginning of February, it was awful. I hated being in the dorms and I hated waking up in the mornings. I know for sure now that I'm going to bust my ass for school once I get back. I have to. My parent are spending about $7500 for me to go to France for a mere six weeks, and their hard work can't go wasted. I want to prove to them so bad that this will be one of the best decisions they'll ever make for my future! I'm so thankful to having open minded, trusting, and amazing parents. They are the incarnate of dedicated hard work. I love them so much!
*I have a reader from Japan?! On my stats it says someone follows me from Japan! I don't know if someone just set their location to Japan or what but omg that's sooo cool :)
As you all know, or most of you at least, my old room
New color, I know you would never know but no more atrocious beige-yellow popcorn ceiling! And of course my room is a mess since they still have to remove the carpet and do paint touch ups, cannot wait to get new furniture, yet another bed spread and curtains and frames :)
Our home at the moment is being severely remodeled, new paint, new floors, new cabinets, NEW CEILINGS, it is like we are living in a completely new home.
Few months prior to these changes, the house as like a mix of different tastes, always cozy , not tacky at all, but reminded me of a country style, yellow kitchen and brown cabinets..it was cute.
Now its really modern and warm and I LOVE IT<3
Remember my cloud "TOY STORY" room?! Light blue and spray painted clouds that I've had since I was in 6th grade? Allll gone :)
It was really cute while it lasted, I must admit. But now I have it this beautiful juicy coral peachish color, I'll show a picture later! I plan to have gold vintage framed mirrors, and white furniture to go with it. I'm excited!!
