Power of books

Thank you Christian Grey for keeping me up till 2 am and making me oversleep

woes

Buddhism

The greatest achievement is selflessness. 
The greatest worth is self-mastery. 
The greatest quality is seeking to serve others. 
The greatest precept is continual awareness. 
The greatest medicine is the emptiness of everything. 
The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways. 
The greatest magic is transmuting the passions. 
The greatest generosity is non-attachment. 
The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind. 
The greatest patience is humility. 
The greatest effort is not concerned with results. 
The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go. 
The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.
Atisha

I am at a point where I will do anything to make some money. Well, almost anything. 

Atlantic City

Family vacation was amazing this past weekend! Got to fly, ride in a limo for the first time, stay in a suite at the Ceaser's Palace, and enjoy warm weather.

My weekend consisted of the Blue Man Group, too many scoops of gelato, delicious food, a lot of walking on the boardwalk, some time at the beach, and having my palm read.

I was able to meet my baby nephew Shaan for the first time, he is precious and I wish we had more time with him. I got to see my family after a very long time, as well as family friends after two years.

I played slots, didn't win anything but about .42 cents! Big money! But Jasmine, Parth and I used Jasmine's $5 and took turn pressing buttons at the Wheel of Fortune machine and made $50!

Jazzy and I later spent it on getting to a Beach Bar later that night! We met some people from Delaware, New York, and even London. It was spontaneous and somehow we didn't get back to the hotel til 6am. Got into way too much trouble (ignoring my mother's phone calls, bad idea).

It just made me realize that yes, I disrespected my family and rules and wasn't responsible for I'm in not the safest city in the world...and I could have made better decisions...

But it was probably the most fun I've had in such a very very very long time. I did things I shouldn't be doing, but it was well wroth it.

Pictures later? 

Feeling like the weather today, not sad but really really out of it :\

Not sure what phase I was going through, but it was pretty bad. And distasteful. Recently, and I mean recently, I realized I have something beautiful, wonderful, and secure, and it's me  who's been the idiot taking my love for granted.

I'm not blaming my flaw, but acknowledging my habit of overlooking the good and focusing on the bad...is helping me. I realized it's I  who needs to change, no one else. How stupid am I to want something else outside of what I have? Why do I speak badly of someone who only wants to see me genuinely happy, no matter what? I've always dreamt of this relationship. But through the ugliness of my greedy mind, I never truly took a step back to stop and think: Why want more when you don't even know what you have? (This is quite relevant to my closet and need for clothes)

This man has been with me for over two years, through thick and thin, through distance, immaturity, along with the highs and lows of life. He may not be perfect, but who the hell am I to complain? He's dealt with my insecurities, "witchiness", weirdness, indecisiveness, drama, and my inability to clearly communicate anything. This man could have left me at any point and time, and after all we've gone through, he hasn't moved a bit. Despite me pushing him away (when secretly I wanted him closer), he was a phone call away. He's wine and dined me, he's taken me to all the places I need to go, he's pushed me to work hard and never failed to praise my achievements. His loyalty is even more comforting than his arms that keep me safe at night. His work ethic and passion is something to see, working late nights on things I could easily push aside as "it can wait til tomorrow." I could go on and on, and I hope that I will always remind myself of how great of a guy I have.

I am disgusted by my actions, thoughts, and wishes. All that energy I spent comparing and hoping should have went to cherishing and expressing gratitude to the only man who has made so much effort to be in my life.

Today, for some odd reason (it shouldn't be odd...should it haha), I want to proclaim my love for my baby boy, specifically on a high mountain top. Well, I don't live near one, and my shy boring self will just reside on my silly little blog...

I love you Milan, with all my heart, and I will do my best to do everything in my power to keep you happy and by my side for as long as I can. 

Cupcake ATMS are now in NYC

no where near finished studying all the chapters. when will I start panicking and regretting my extreme procrastination (I've never ever ever have been this bad, ever.)

I've never hated a class so much, okay well.. high school chemistry was a huge slap in the face as well. Deep breaths, 6 classes, 6 labs, 3 quizzes, 2 exams, and 1 final is shackling me from my freedom.

Somebody, save me PLEASE.

burnt out

from attempting to study. I will be the most happiest person on Earth at 8pm, July 17th.

deep thinking

My mom has always told me to always look at the positives of other people. However, it's hard to be ignorant to the fact that I have some pretty, how do I say it nicely, shitty friends

OD'd on sugar cookies