first day

Started my shadowing hours at a hand specialist OT place. I walked in 8:15 and took a long look around, and remembered why I was here.

I spent only four hours, but I honestly see myself doing this for a long time.

I want to help others improve, reach their goals, and be a part of every milestone, whether it be fully healing your rotater cuff from surgery or finally making a fist with your hand.

I feel like seeing your patients make slowly but surely progress is instant gratification.

It's discouraging when the lovely OT I'm shadowing explains what is going on, when in reality I have no idea what she is talking about.

I need to get 100 hours by the end of summer (along with my GRE !) to finally apply to graduate school.

Don't get me started on that =\ 

female

Women are mystical, mysterious, and mesmerizing creatures. I love how our sharp yet soft features are perfectly placed onto our faces, how our bodies curve perfectly, and how our voices are simply gentle. I am so glad to be part of a brilliant species. 

furious but weak

In the past few days weeks months and years, I've seen myself grown, physically and mentally. My mind is what impresses me the most. I have my moments, but I know how to think for myself, I know the difference finally of what I want and what I don't like. Coming from the most indecisive girl, no, lady in the world, it's a giant leap to know the basics of what it is that I truly desire.

I love attention, deep and stimulating yet fascinating conversations, and trying new foods and places and things and falling in love with them. I love photographs, compliments, and genuine acts of compassion. I seek quotes and motivational anecdotes that change my perception, way of looking at things, even if it impacts me for a few minutes.

I'm a student and have always been a student and I have this hunger to learn more. So friend and lover, teach me something unusual and unheard of and things I ought to know. Expand my knowledge. I don't have much but I'm constantly wanting to learn more. I do love to teach others the things I know, but I cannot always  teach and lead the way. I'm a little girl too, you know.

But when I do try to teach you something you may not have heard about, please be interested, or act like it. As much as I want to grow and keep an open mind, I want to receive that from you too. I know what I hate the most is, it is to feel like I've wasted my breath.

I have discovered that similar interests do go a long way, from music to hobbies to certain views. I celebrate diversity but birds of a feather flock together. I have an open mind but it can stay open for too long because sometimes differences obstruct, come in the way of what I want. And as a people pleaser, a label that people constantly remind me of, I cannot sacrifice my pleasure just to respect your beliefs and preferences every. single. time.

After years of mapping out my own mind, I have to admit I do appreciate the little things. Little notes, surprises, gestures, even body language, I am impacted by them.

I'm an indirect person, I sugar coat and beat around the bush. I never want to appear assertive, even though that is something I need to do. However, when I am the most direct I can be and tell you what I want, you sure as hell recognize that I want whatever that is, real bad.

I've noticed disappointment enjoys my company and I'm a big baby when he arrives. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I set high standards and expectations and only I get hurt in the end. But why should I lower my standards when I should seek those who rise up to my expectations?

I am a people person and I may take a while to warm up but conversations are my blanket that keep me content. I need you to call me and ask about my day. Tell me something about yours. Talk about something philosophical. A song you have just fell in love with. How much you love me. To have sweet dreams.

the best way to get to my heart is to keep me on my toes.


It took me years, months, weeks, days to slowly reveal little parts of myself. I'm figuring out what makes me sad, angry, happy. I just wish...

wishlist

Things I desperately want, but cannot buy because I'm trying to save up for grad school applications and the GREs...but my birthday is coming up and I even have links for most of these wish list items ;)

Urban Decay Naked Palette (original) $50

J. Crew Starfish Studs $48 (Use LOVEIT promo for 30% off)

J. Crew Factory Crystal Blossom Studs $28 (Use LOVEIT promo for 30% off)

Etsy Rose Quartz and Crystal Gold Earrings $36

Anthropologie Viscid Watch in Sky  $58

If you are going to get me this, I'd be forever and ever thankful :) <3

Going to the beach next weekend, actually to the city I am hoping and praying and wishing my future graduate school will be. I'm extremely excited because I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I've been to a beach. Even when it is one of my favorite things on this world. I am going with friends for a 21st celebration which is lovely because I've never enjoyed la plage avec mes amies, ever. I already have my cutest outfits picked out, a new swimsuit (I haven't quite met my fitness goal but it is good enough to wear what I bought, I've come a long way guys!)

Cannot wait to look beautiful, relax, and live the life I've only been day dreaming about.

being dramatic

but I need someone's help right now. I can't do this, it hurts too much. I'm going back to my apt tomorrow and I can't see him. I feel so broken and alone and I don't know what to do 

I was on stumbleupon and obviously, it was completely random but I came across this piece of advice:

10. Fall in love with the person of your dreams 

Maybe you’re anxious to get married or fear you’ll never find anyone better, but please, we’re literally begging you, DON’T SETTLE. Wait for the person who makes your heart beat fast. The one who treats you like a princess and lifts you up because he could never tear you down. But most of all, wait for the one who loves you just as much as you love him back and whom you could never, ever in a million, trillion years picture your life without. Then, settle down.

After that, I put down my phone because I'm not going to text him anymore. No more being indecisive. You ended things because of a reason, don't forget that, Pranjali.

Life feels good sans FB. However, I'm substituting that with checking my e-mail, that clearly doesn't need to be checked. I feel like a loner haha

Happy Mother's Day to my hero<3 Thank you for showing me what independence, hard work, beauty, and love is. You have supported everything I've done, and made me proud of who I am. Thank you for encouraging me and making me feel intelligent, beautiful, and proud. Thank you for putting up with everything to keep the family going. Thank you for working hours and hours on your feet just so I can enjoy things young women enjoy (shopping) and not even enjoying your hard work. Thank you for showing me what good style is ;)
Thank you for supporting me decision and letting me cry when I need to and letting me be strong at the same time.

Thank you thank you thank you I hope one day I can make you so proud!

don't feel like eating, sleeping, being awake, or going out. even colbert can't fix this. i don't feel like laughing.

time of the month + a break up = not the best equation ever.

I'm going to LeaderShape next week, so one week in isolation with a little over 60 people in a camp. 

updates

I'm very excited because for the first time ever, after taking classes that I find extremely difficult since all except 1 are non-major related...I don't want to jinx it...so I'll finish this when I get all my grades back.

j'adore

Trying to lay low for a while. Want to talk to me, call me please.

beyond stressed. one more final, one week of leadershape, then home sweet home. sike. more like GRE's volunteering and grad school applications and how i'm no where near prepared to even apply.

FEIST

Feist concert tonight :)

Went to the pool for the first time in ages with Loretta, it was such a nice catch up. I'm flattered but sure it was just beer goggles, this guy started up a (really awful) conversation (about how his English skills are of a 7th grader, real cute) by "Hey Kim Kardashian!" hahahaha I don't like anything about this lady but I must admit she's beautiful! I couldn't help to laugh